Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?