Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men