walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him