you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
