his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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