lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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