Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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