You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
