We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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