Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My vagina just recognized that song.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
