I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
