You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
