the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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