The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
