Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize