I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
