Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
