I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
