You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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