thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Terrible idea I love it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize