I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
