My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.