i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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