I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
