Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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