Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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