yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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