Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
