When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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