You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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