I didn't shave. On purpose
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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