sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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