She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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