R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
