Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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