I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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