did you get engaged???
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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