I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
