David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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