what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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