my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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