she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You are a genius and a whore.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize