Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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