R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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