this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
