paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
