I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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