Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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