so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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