..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
