Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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