He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
