There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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