after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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