Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
