Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
