can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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