I'm passing your future prison.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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