i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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