He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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