You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
