im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
