She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
