I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
