why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
