I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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